Things I Thought I Knew

I used to think that when I was ..say… 18 years old, with my high school diploma in hand, I would know what I needed to know to meet (and beat) the world.  I set out for college with high hopes, a great work ethic and a goal to graduate with a degree in four years.

In 1958 this was a reasonable assumption.    LIFE IS NEVER AS SIMPLE AS IT SEEMS.     I soon found that there was a multitude of things I was not prepared for.   I had many many lessons to learn; lessons that I learned by living life.   My experience has been that there is always a lesson in the situations in which I find myself.

Sometimes I recognize the lesson and consent to accept the teaching gracefully; other times, I know intuitively that a situation has something in it for me to learn; most of the time, though, I am more than knee-deep in something before I recognize that there is a lesson in it..for ME..and although I could still refuse to learn,  by the time I realize that I am knee-deep in a “very smelly substance”, I might as well keep going.  I believe that “The only way out, is THROUGH”.  What else can a seeker do?  If one wants the Truth, how can she turn away when it is put in her face?

I am thinking on this today because many truths are coming up for me  at this time and not all of them are pleasant.

Strangely enough, I find myself wanting to assure YOU who are reading this, that I am getting through the changes that these truths  have brought by the force of sheer will;  if I can do it, you can too.  Believe it yourself, and you will see.  Faith in oneself   and the courage   to continue to keep walking on no matter what,  plus willingness to open your mind and heart to new ideas will teach you what you need to know:  not only how to survive but to thrive in your surroundings.

My final words to you are:  LOVE LOVE LOVE and then LOVE SOME MORE!    Love yourself, your neighbor, those  people across the seas, people of different faiths, races, political beliefs.  …and finally I  hope that you have a belief in a power greater than yourself.   I urge you also to find meaning in your life by helping others in the ways that you are able, with the talents that you have been given.

You may think that I am either crazy or too idealistic:  well, maybe so..but I have learned many a hard lesson …the hard way.     I hope if you do think I am nuts,  you will reread this in a year or 2, or after you have been through a very rough time in your life and see what you think then.    One more thing to share with you…HAVE FUN!   Find the joy and laughter in life..inside yourself.

I offer you these words with love, humility and gratitude for what I have learned.

Thank You MA   You taught me and love  me well; I am so grateful

Love, Nandani


Gramma’s thoughts on Wasted Time, Growing older…

  •                “It is so sad,  you never get back wasted time.” (Benjamin Button)

      In my opinion, that’s  the last thing we should be thinking or worrying about as we get older..that is if we have gotten wiser along the way.

It’s true, sometimes our bodies let us down  a lot more often than they used to ;  that does not mean we aren’t  having experiences in the minds and bodies we develop.  The wider our worlds become, the more opportunities we can discover to live and learn and achieve and be happy as we move through the stages of our lives.

When I first started thinking about this, it seemed like a good idea.  Since then,I have gotten I want to apologize if I sound as if I think I know it all…please know that I do not, nor will I ever, know it all.   That said, I’ll share with you a few things I have learned as I’ve traveled this road toward old age.

Things I Know (NOW)

  1. Gratitude is essential.   I have found that being grateful for what I have doesn’t give me time to worry about what I don’t have.
  2. Don’t take life so seriously..laugh, laugh, laugh.  If you look for them, there are funny things everywhere!
  3. A smile is the best gift you can give.

Those are the 3 things that I thought of first…I want to assure you that I’m not selling anything and I’m not trying to get you  to join anything.

I have been sick..really sick..and when I got back on my feet, I was so grateful…I tried to learn and do everything that caught  my interest..and believe me, I am interested in EVERYTHING.

And..I have OPINIONS on just about everything!

These are what I want to share with you..maybe you will find that you have some of the same interests.  I will be glad to share links to  websites that I have found that give lessons on just about everything..

 Please share what you know now.  Opinions are great…respect those of others…it leads to peace and understanding ,


Open letter to my Guru Ma Jaya:

My Beloved Guru, Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati, left Her body on Friday April 13, 2012.  I’m not sure that I will be able to  share Her last days with you, yet, but I sure can share with you some parts of our life together over the last 25 years.

I met Ma at Her home, Kashi Ashram in Sebastian Fl, on April 19, 1987.  I knew when i met Her that She was the most wonderfully outrageous, authentic and loving soul that I had and have, ever met.  From there on, my life has been changed for the better in every way.  I have to admit that I didn’t acknowledge that for many years and I fought every step of the way not to give up the stubborness that kept me from gaining the full benefit from the love and closeness She blessed me with.  And yet, SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME AND NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME..not EVER.  And..She NEVER ONCE JUDGED  me..not EVER.
And so, my Ma, My GURU, my BELOVED:
I can truly and proudly say: I am so grateful to have lived the last 25 years with You, in Your Grace and in Your incomparable love.  You have been my rock , my love, my teacher, my example of how to live my life.  I need to tell You, although I am sure You know:  I will do my very best to be an example of Your teaching in every aspect of my life for as long as I HAVE life.  I have begun to learn who I am and I have caught a glimpse of who I can be. With your Grace and You by my side (or sitting in the middle of my chest guiding me and keeping me on track!) I will  continue the service work that You taught me how to do: serving the sick, the hungry,  the lonely and alone …wherever I can spread your love, caring and acceptance.  I am serving and loving God and You and my fellow man in this work, and I am so grateful to You for showing me the way. 
I will do my best to make You proud Ma
I miss You every second, yet I can go on because You taught me about Death and I got that teaching in spades, Ma!  I understand that one and know Him (Yama) intimately. I know that Death is a friend.  You left us, in the flesh, but you are just as close as ever in spirit.
Thank You for everything…in the past and yet to come in the future.
With a heart full of gratitude  and love
Your Nandani Jaya

God Works Out The Details or Master Class in Loving



My friend Millie never ceases to surprise and amaze me with her unfailing enjoyment of life…the simplest things bring her the most joy.   When she is joyful,  she “bubbles” over with it ,  and I feel so blessed  to share the experience that has brought this joy to her.

She became a “gramma”  herself a short while ago.  She had not seen her son for several years and was not sure if she would be able to see the child before  leaving her body.  
She decided to discontinue treatment for a serious medical condition a month ago.   She  spoke to her son about this decision, and  it was then that God stepped in and took over their lives, beginning the process of healing this family.  (these are my words and my interpretation of  God’s role in the script of my friend’s life..).

I talked with her this weekend and this is what she told me about her recent visit with her son’s family.

Me: “”Did you see the baby?”

Millie: “Oh Yes!” “I held her..”  “..on my bosom..”  her voice became thick with remembering…and as she talked, I began to remember my own kids, and my grandkids, sleeping on my bosom.  She continued,” I could hear her breathing…”  she stopped speaking but I could feel the baby’s breath on my bare skin, smell the “milky, baby smell”  and feel the beat of the little heart….and for a few moments, Millie and I were wrapped in the same dream, the same experience, with each other and with every mother who ever held a  small figure on her bosom as the child slept. 

I will always believe that God was there with  us and had brought about the circumstances that allowed us to share those moments together, even though we were not present in the actual  the same time..God brought us together in a deep sharing,  for which I am so very  grateful.

I am so happy for my friend and her family.  I believe that when a soul is in the stream of God’s will, all things are possible.

Love,  gramma




Miss Daisy……..we formed a family of choice

Miss Daisy........we formed a family of choice

Ya’ gotta love that face!


We created a family.

Some families are formed  through   “Genetics”  giving us our family of birth.  Sometimes we get to form a family of “choice”….people not necessarily related to us by blood but by beliefs, experiences, ideals   and the things we love in life.   I say those families of choice are CREATED by us; Miss Daisy and I formed a family…our creation.

I want to share a poem I wrote when we were separated ..I was in the hospital and Daisy was in a cage at the ‘doggie doctor’s’….my heart was broken.


July  24, 2008

I lay down to sleep

I feel your head begin to settle

against my knee;

Your body snuggles closerand closer

 to my leg

as you relax.

You become lighter and lighter

And we start to float



Into our dreams


Together…at home.

(From baby Girl #1 by Flo Clark  07/08)

Sincerely, Gramma

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